owh Tuhan

kenapa perlu secubit hati ini masih ada melekat pada dia yang ignorant itu?
semangat aku ini perlu disemai supaya jadi kuat.

Kamu tolong ya, Tuhan?
aku berlutut-sujud di sini.

Aren't we supposed to get-together on Eid?

Eid this year, was very enjoyable for me. as stated on my previous post, i went all the way to the south to seek the feel of javanese raya, the other side of me. i have to say, i'm very proud of this heritage that was passed down to me by abah though the only java word that i know is wes mangan (have you eaten?) & saadly i don't know how to answer to that question. (waras, maybe?). on the 1st day, mili & i got some duit raya (eh eh. kalau orang memberi, kita? menerimanya dengan tangan terbuka lah. ngeh). with the money, i decided that we should get ourselves a disposable camera (lost our digital 1 earlier this year) to record some javanese raya scene. so-so. instead we got ourselves a film camera for RM39.90. not disposable but i'm not betting it will still work by the end of this year. haha. afternoon, we met anne & headed to the city's mall. so much for the spirit of Eid. the next day we went to abah's hometown where people still converse daily in javanese. & later that night, met some club friends (surprise! surprise!) which later we found out that we're related. & they got themselves a hip & cool aunt. NGEH! come 4th raya day, 'heart who came the day before, joined me in the quest of job hunting in Singapore. well, my interview was at 2pm & his at 6pm. my interview went quite well, though i forgot all about my education certificates. tsk..tsk..tsk... & 'heart, having some complications in speaking english, was disappointed with his interview. cheer up! you're working with me next month remember? i was happy this raya. i enjoyed it very very much that i forgot about mak's well-being. a cousin on mak's side called yesterday to tell me about how on the 2nd day of raya, mak was already home because her sister left her all alone & went raya somewhere without telling. hearing this, as a daughter, i was blaming myself for going down south. but then, i thought about along who was only 75minutes away from mak but couldn't find just a little free time to spend with her. along is the best brother anyone could ever have, no doubt. but he could've at least give mak a chance.

if only i have the power to mend things right.