borang suai kenal

Nama ‘timang-timangan' anda oleh yang tersayang?
erm. perlu ke? aku tulis nama yang i'd like to be called lah, boleh? my full name, my short & simple name with creative additions (yang terpilih sahaja), waffle, sayang, sex (instead of sexy), love. ei, panggil aku senandung lah. aku terlalu jatuh cinta dengan nama yang itu.

Anda seorang yang...
sentiasa kehilangan. tidak tahu apa yang aku mahu dan arah tujuan seterusnya. terlalu banyak berfikir benda remeh sampai kadang-kadang masalah harga petrol naik aku macam tidak endah sangat. aku juga cuba untuk mingle around (untuk dapatkan social contacts for future needs) tapi aku selalu gagal. giving up easily, forgetful and also a dreamer. so excuse me if kadang-kadang aku berangan yang aku ni seorang cantik rupawan.

Insan teristimewa? Jelaskan apa yang membuatkan dia terlalu istimewa di mata anda.
i have to skip this question because my insan teristimewa are more than words. 'are' pasal aku susah mahu ada favouritism.

Makanan & minuman favourite.
daging salai masak lemak cili api. have to know how to prepare the dish one of these days. plain water always have a special place in my throat.

Favourite colour.
actually, i don't have favourite colours but automatically when getting stuff for myself, i'll go for green. i like grey coloured t-shirts. and i kind of have a lot of red clothes too. for bags and shoes, mostly i'll choose brown or nude.

Favourite song.
as for now, i kept repeating the sounds' painted by numbers and octet's sneakers and thongs on my playlist at the office. kalau waktu driving, aku asyik putarkan stoned revivals' loose boogie. gila bulu roma naik, okay? mungkin itu yang buat model hot fell for him.

Siapa yang selalu membuatkan anda tergelak?
yang suka membebel, yang suka merepek, yang tidak ada kebolehan mengawal volume suara, yang way out of the box and every other shapes. but always it's the situation that makes me laugh.

Sikap yg membuatkan anda stress.
merepek yang berlebihan boleh mendatangkan amarah. yang short-tem memory lost pun kadang-kadang can make my blood go upstairs. tapi itu sifat, kan? potong queue sikap ke? itu yang aku paling benci.

Tiga benda yg mesti ada dlm bag anda.
kalau taip tiga barang sahaja, macam tidak menarik. rules are made to be broken, right? so let me tell you what's currently in my bag: handphone, cigarettes, lighters, pens, small notebook, sketchbook, another notebook, vaseline, lotion, body butter, work tag, shades, energizing water, hairclips, thumbdrives, stickers, headphones, raisins, keratan akhbar, car keys, house keys, compact camera. tapi kalau yang mesti ada dalam bag selalunya dua benda sahaja: rubbish and pemberat bag.


Kali terakhir anda beriya-iya menangis? Kenapa?
sakit. sebab hati terlalu ambil kisah. cuba kalau buat tidak peduli, mesti tidak sakit. and no tears to waste.

Perkara yg paling lucu atau memalukan dalam hidup anda.
waktu berperangai merepek di depan orang yang buat jantung aku berdebar, waktu kawan bekas kekasih menggenggam tangan, waktu aku menangis tanpa menyedari bahawa the whole office heard me, waktu pertama kali i went nude in front of a stranger. tapi macam banyak sangat perkara yang memalukan, buat aku jadi lali.

thank you mills for letting me entertain myself di waktu lapang ini.

another weekend, the same agony

that friday night was the best. all of my favourite friends were there. & i said to elm:
"you're so adorable, can i hug you?"
"sure." & i went home smiling, satisfied. at last. andre's gonna be so fucken jealous, i reckon. the next morning, as elle entered the bathroom, she was annoyed out of her mind because i wrote elm's name on the mirror. that's how i say good morning at home. ha ha. but as usual, after the happy moment, came the fearful one. early sunday morning, we sent mak to the airport for her perth trip while abah was at home, with cancer & fever. as we arrived at his house, he was in agony. we had to rush him to a government hospital, 30mins away. it was at the hospital that things got worse. he was crying in pain. & government service here is very slow. abah was bleeding, something that should not have happened. he said it must've been an infection. mili & i took turns to take care of him. along, he kept missing in action. as the eldest son, he was irresponsible. i don't know whether his bad attitude have anything to do with his girlfriend. ooppss. did i just point a finger? hunh. that particular morning, he was already at abah's house & he could've taken him himself but no. instead, he called us, asked where's azuki's food & even ordered mcdonald's breakfast. so we thought everything was fine when it was actually a critical situation. i'm not badmouthing my own brother but mili & i was really furious. he was weirdly irresponsible of the situation. everything would be passed to us. if abah's sickness is something of the norm, we wouldn't mind. but he's having prostate cancer lah , along. i can't even touch his medicine. when abah was crying in pain, i nearly flooded my eyes because i was helpless, i didn't know what to do. the man who i've always looked up to, the strong wise man, was helpless & i couldn't do anything about it. the feeling was shit.