nasty old man, please don't fly her to europe

waktu hari terakhir getaway, aku macam resah. aku jadi tamak. i was scared just thinking about the fact that mili will get married one day and leave me. the previous night she told me of an old guy who is currently into her and said if she marries him, he'd take her anywhere in the world to live happily ever after. nightmare aku macam sudah dekat; a) nightmare tentang perkahwinan dengan lelaki yang umurnya lebih tua dari abah dan b) aku akan rasa lonely dengan pemergian my only sister. aku rasa jelik dengan lelaki tua yang gatal. i guess part of the situation boleh dituding jari ke atas her high school friends. pelik. mereka datang dari golongan yang tidak sabar mahu grow old so they can go to clubs dan cari lelaki kaya. kaya dulu, kemudian looks or age. i know age is just a number. tapi ada batasan. she's always involved with older men. 4 - 20 years gap. kadang-kadang aku wonder juga how she managed to do it. memang kerap aku di cop sebagai adik bila berjalan seiringan dengannya which kind of pisses her off. but it got her rich old men. mili said that her friend had the opinion that she have the looks yang memang lelaki tua suka. tapi aku terlalu sayangkan mili. waktu aku emotionally distracted, aku cari dia pasal waktu itu dia juga sudah macam give up on the egoist she honestly loved. i know she's the favourite among the three of us. nanti abah dan mak akan sakit rindu kalau dia berkahwin dengan lelaki tua yang boleh bawanya ke paris after getting married. aku jadi takut sampai aku mahu jadi matchmaker for her. i need her to stay here. for my personal sake. if she's not around nanti, siapa lagi yang aku mahu sakat? siapa lagi yang willing to listen to my so-called love stories yang berulang-kali? dia saja yang boleh tahan. sometimes it's annoying for her to be calling out "kakak!" in the middle of a crowd. tapi dalam diam aku suka pasal panggilan itu membuatkan aku rasa senang hati ada seorang adik. yang ada juga manusia yang tidak kisah sangat ada kakak macam aku pasal i'm not a good person over all. be it daughter, girlfriend or a sister. jadi aku thankful.

matchmaking: mangsa berikutnya...

"ei, korang ni takda calon nak kahwin ke?" terasa soalan mak bagaikan satu anak panah yang tiba-tiba menerjah antara aku dan mili.

"ei, aku nak isi minyak lah. where's the nearest petrol pump?" aku tanya mili, while maneuvering the steering wheel.

"kat sini tak boleh masuk kiri. kena pusing depan sana" mili seemed to be ignoring the killer question from mak. iya lah. kami berdua pun sedang mengalami masalah relationship tiba-tiba ditembak dengan soalan yang best. gugup sekejap. aku ketawa kecil.

"what do you mean 'korang'??? i'm still young okay???" mili memberi jawapan. mak terkekeh di belakang. she continued telling us how my younger cousin is currently going out with a technician and might be tying the knot. the thing is, she kept changing her phone number, everytime she changes boyfriend. you get the idea. yesterday we went back to seremban to see my 91-year-old grandmother and for mak to attend her mesyuarat gossip between her two close sisters. by the end of the day, nama aku naik menjadi topik. dulu, anne always told me stories about her supportive aunts who love to play matchmaker for her. aku fikir, merepek. nampaknya turn aku sudah sampai.

"chinese look, your age, tall," described fana. the guy that they're trying to matchmake me with is a friend of her current boyfriend. woi!!! aku yang masih mamai dari tidur petang, bersuara dalam hati. si ahbeng tu kerja di seremban, aku di kota durjana ni. sesuai ke? boleh jadi ke hubungan jarak jauh ni? aku pun sebenarnya suka saja jadi matchmaker tapi bila aku yang jadi item-nya, rasa bengang pun ada. beralah kepada pilihan mak, tidak pernah langsung terlintas di fikiran aku. i'm only 24. i shouldn't be worrying about this. THEY shouldn't be worrying about it either. mentang-mentang dah pencen, sesuka saja nak buat keputusan. eleh, macamlah si ahbeng tu pun interested. entah-entah sudah pun mempunyai buah hatinya sendiri. aku ni pun bukannya interesting sangat pun. elle kata pendirian aku macam lelaki. memang ada betulnya statement dia. bukannya hati perempuan aku hilang terus, tapi untuk di lihat dengan mata kasar, agak susah untuk orang yang tak dikenali. perlu diseluk dalam-dalam. that's why i think it's weird if any male is interested in me. perangai merepek, siapa nak? aku pun tak nak. haha.

tapi apa kata ku try saja si ahbeng ni? tak salah kan kalau berkawan? at least, i can have someone to hang out with whenever i come down to seremban. mana tahu dia merempit ke, boleh aku try rasa perasaan lentik atas motor. haha.