perkara spontaneous yang patut disesali

in the wee hour of the morning, lagu favourite kau berdering dari handphone. kau capai dan kau wonder who actually have you in mind at that time of the day. kau tekan butang yang ada icon warna hijau, kau tegur yang on the other end. ada suara yang macam familiar, tapi kau tidak faham apa yang cuba dipertuturkan pasal yang kau dengar hanya sobs. diselit dengan sedu-sedan. kau cakap hello. dan reply yang sama diberi. kemudian, suara yang at the other end putus asa lalu ended the call. dan kau wonder, kenapa, of all the people around, dia yang had you in mind at that wee hour of the morning.
and in that wee hour of the morning juga, ada yang lagi seorang sedang wonder. kenapa, of all the numbers listed in my tiny samsung, nombor kau yang jari aku pantas dail. cuma kali ini the sobs weren't for you.
maaf pada mereka yang tersalah risau dan tafsir.

PERHATIAN

aku sudah mengagak yang satu hari nanti akan ada unsur salah faham. john yang aku kerap taipkan namanya di senandung konspirasi, adalah john.j, okay?
bukan john yang ini.
gila ke? dia ni kan celebrity.

it's gonna be john.j from today.
haiyo...

elm, please kiss me instead

"do u know that u're hot?" and after i heard about what happened to him, i was glad he smiled.

& now his skinny pale body is lying across my bed. his hair covering part of his peaceful face. the LED clock beaming 6.00am. i guess he was exhausted from the party & the movie i asked him to watch with me. it's creepy how 'heart is only 10mins drive from my place plus two of his good friends live in the same house as i do. elle, she shook her head to the idea. which obviously meant, i'm on my own. slowly, i took charge of elm's camera. i clicked his white foot, his toes, his hair, eyelashes, ears, long fingers with yellow nails from the cigarettes we smoked. amazingly, his lips was pink. from a glimpse, u'd mistaken him as a girl. that's what made me drool over him: the fact that he does somewhat look like a girl. though i don't know him personally, i've got a feeling he really is a sweet thing deep inside. he mumbled, & i froze. but he dozed off to sleep again. i come nearer to his face. click. click. he slowly opened his eyes. realizing i was taking his pictures, he hide his face under the pillow. i took a sip of my sampoerna. wait for him to show his attractive face.

"pandai ke amik gambar?"
"u can just delete it if it's not good." i shrugged & exhale sinful smoke.

elm, who kissed coke. & now he's an addict.
i wonder how he would react to this fantasy of mine...