weekend yang awkward sedikit

perkara pertama yang bermain di kepala aku sewaktu menunggu flight pulang ke kota durjana dari pantai timur minggu lepas adalah what shall i look forward to the coming weekend. raking my brain, i remembered of a friend's exhibition on the 20th. so for last weekend, i didn't get too much rest nor sleep from friday to sunday night. it was a weird sort of adventurous (?) weekend for me. friday, elle (who got her boyfriend out of town) and i drove to city for pelan pelan dan bilik gerakan's exhibition launch. from what i saw, and from how i know him plus judging from what i've heard, the arts displayed was like the artist himself. mungkin ada sedikit berbaur politikal, no? i rest my case awal-awal lagi pasal i'm not experienced pun in criticizing arts. or anything. the awkward moment, which was a cue for us to head to our usual friday club, was when a female politician who's now handling the area where my mom's house is came and sat behind us. eating there was already awkward (well, for me. masalah aku sendiri, bukan orang lain) and to be having a politician yang muka dia baik gila sitting behind us, of course lah added up to the awkwardness. i saw a famous blogger, wanted to say hi but as usual i couldn't bring myself to it so i just walked away pasal macam dia kenal aku pun. dan baru pagi ini aku teringat yang aku pernah menghantar gambar aku kepada dia so i guess maybe he did remember. great. just GREAT. -_- (sms dari elle: 'adakah ko ilang ingatan?why on earth did u send ur pic to him.ko serious merepek dowh.') tidak mengapa. perkara remeh sahaja. mungkin next time boleh cakap hi. at the usual friday night club, we had fun, met long-time-no-see friends, snap here, snap there plus some awkward questions. dimaafkan pasal yang bertanya mabuk. supper, mili's ex invited us to party the next night at a place where it's famous for its hutan, gunung dan sungai. tanpa membuang masa, aku bersetuju. besides, i don't want to be stuck here at the durjana city. buat sakit hati. janji mahu bertolak petang tapi terpaksa dimungkiri pasal as elle closed the door of my very dirty kenari, i said,
"cantik subang kau. kereta aku tak boleh nak start." dan seperti biasa, just as i expected, her face changed to panic mode. dan button membebel serta-merta switched on. ha ha.
"kau tak pernah cuci enjin kereta eh? teruk gila condition dia," she commented in a very high pitched voice.
"owh. enjin pun kena cuci, eh?" aku gelak. well, i can't help myself, can i? there we were, excited to carpool to the party and i couldn't start my car. and i couldn't think of anyone near to come and make things right.
"okay. don't tell me we have to call ex-heart..." elle said slowly since he lives 15 minute drive dari tempat kejadian.
"of course not. he's the last person we should be calling. anyway, he's prolly in kl pun, sleeping over at his girlfriend's house," i replied while scrolling through my phone book. i dialed ben's number to ask for advice and lucky us, he was in the area with his sepupu-sepapat and came to the rescue. owh yeah. which reminds me: i have to treat them coffee sometime nanti. so at about 6.30pm, we start our journey fetching the other 3 guys and by the time kami tiba berdekatan dengan kawasan yang ditujui, hari pun sudah gelap. mahu dijadikan cerita, tiada salah seorang dari kami pun yang tahu di mana terletaknya the exact place (sebelum sungai congkak). plus aku dan driver rabun. jadi semua itu tadi boleh dijadikan alasan atas kenapa kami boleh sampai di kaki gunung nuang. it turned out, the directions that our friends had been telling us was from another way (yang mana semua orang yang ke situ melalui jalan itu kecuali kami). but we managed to arrive safely and didn't miss the fantastic-delicious-mouthwatering bbq dinner worth rm20. berbaloi okay pasal chef dia pun hot macam makanannya juga. he he. after a little light dancing, aku sudah mula memikirkan tentang sofa di chalet and since we planned to drive home around 3am (plus i had to be at the city at 8am for a function) i thought of lying down while the others ran around the area enjoying the loud electro music. tapi some of them lebih suka datang ke chalet, duduk beramai-ramai dan bercerita hantu. ya. dan si puaka yang sibuk mahu dengar cerita hantu (yang juga sebenarnya penakut) boleh bantai berdengkur di sebelah aku. jujur, aku memang sakit hati. at around 4am, one of us insisted for us to go back to the city at that wee hour of the morning. honestly, i'm a scaredy-cat. aku tidak perasan siapa yang gatal mulut tanya peak hours for those 'beings' to be wandering around and the ghost-whisperer girl replied, "time macam sekarang ni lah peak hours dia." but it didn't stop us from proceeding with our journey back cuma waktu perjalanan pergi aku di depan, yang pulangnya, aku di belakang tengah-tengah. ha ha. aku diberi priority pasal aku semacam moody itu malam. well, you can't help it if the person driving your car sebenarnya penakut tapi nak berlagak berani. owh. disertakan si mulut puaka celupar yang juga penakut, jantan tapi gedik. geram aku. ini baru cerita hari sabtu. sunday morning, on my way to the city, already late for the event, aku ditahan polis pasal aku U-turn di tempat yang tidak boleh U-turn. dan belum sempat dua orang polis itu berkata apa-apa, my tears came out non-stop. what the hell is wrong with me???
"sorry. sorry. sorry," i apologized while passing cop A my license and i.c.
"ni kenapa nangis ni? tarik nafas, sandar," he assured me. i inhale, laid back and sat up straight again. he asked me to relax again and i did the same thing.
"awak nak ke mana ni? kat situ kan ada tanda tak boleh U-turn," cop B pointed to the signage i missed.
"saya nak pergi ke times square, ada urusan kerja and dah lambat. pastu saya tak tahu macam mana nak masuk parking belakang dia," i told him with my tears still coming out, uncontrollably. sebenarnya ini sudah kali kedua aku di tahan polis kerana mahu masuk ke kawasan parking building besar itu.
"awak sakit ke?" i must've looked really bad that morning, with the rush and under construction blocked roads. malas mahu cerita panjang, aku iya kan sahaja soalannya.
"jangan nangis. mana tisu? kalau awak nangis lagi, saya saman," cop B said. my tears wouldn't stop coming out but at the same time i was laughing nervously. keadaan aku macam haram. setelah memberikan nasihat dan mengingatkan aku tentang signage no U-turn, aku dilepaskan tanpa sebarang tiket. nasib baik pasal the day before aku sudah spend untuk bateri kereta baru and of course since i went for the getaway, i don't think i can afford a ticket. my fund for june is running out. jadi pengajarannya kawan-kawan, belakang times square banyak polis ronda. don't break any road rules. despite what happened, the drama and such, sedikit sebanyak buat aku lupa akan kekusutan perasaan yang bermain di kepala. sedikit sahaja lah. dan dalam masa yang singkat. but hey, i'm trying my best here.

don't let the world bring you down. not everyone here is that fucked up and cold

apologies to those people i snapped at. pasal aku pun sudah jadi merepek.

tapi aku jadi merepek pasal dipengaruhi oleh orang-orang yang merepek. and last night i turned to incubus's 'make yourself' to boost up my self-esteem. as selfish as i can be, most of the time i think about other people's sensitiveness. i was pissed yesterday because some people they're just fucken ignorant about what other people feels. macam minta kena tendang di kepala untuk menyedarkan sesuatu yang logik. kau tahu lagu robot asmara 'hati besi'? nah. i dedicate that song to you people out there. siapa yang makan cili, dia lah yang terasa pedasnya.
last night's outing was fun. i hung out with positive minded friends. robot asmara was really good that they got themselves another gig offer. i'm so proud of them. kamu semua boleh terbang melintasi laut china selatan. just believe, okay?
we were supposed to go for an island getaway this weekend tapi kalau kawan kau yang seorang kaki party, yang seorang penyanyi pop dan yang seorang lagi masih seorang intern yang confuse tentang kariernya, terpaksalah kau berwajah begini: -_- dan akhirnya sebulat suara bersetuju dengan plan si kaki party untuk mendaki bukit curam for it's long lost party, theme park and cool breeze. and the next day i have to drive mak to seremban for a wedding. memang perlu aku pakai sut supergirl tau! i'm thinking about this style for the cool breeze up there:
but instead of the exact outfit above, i'm going to wear a grey blazer, white shirt, denim skirt cut-offs, black leggings and sneakers. since i couldn't find any high-cut sneakers (preferably those nike dunks), i'm gonna put on ben's white high-cut converse instead. macam tidak berapa berminat pasal nanti kaki aku nampak kecil. tsk. i need a pair of high-cut dunks. kalau aliph lagi cool. ada sesiapa mahu jual?










a note to the past, please just stay there. don't you dare come near me because i'm afraid i have to say this out:
aku semacam bahagia.
jangan kusutkan aku yang mudah kusut ini. jangan kejutkan aku di tengah malam buta untuk mengalami perasaan macam sial. jangan buat aku snap in front of innocent people lagi.

lapsap of the future

owh. no wonder i dreamt of flying off in a spaceship to meet ville valo last night. but i didn't get to meet him because i had to wake up for work. reality is B-O-R-I-N-G.