sneak out

aku selalu wonder, kenapa ada perempuan yang sanggup ber-affair-kan suami orang. i think the reason, apart from of course, all the best guys are the ones taken, adalah thrill of doing it. macam mana kau semua going against the tide. mahu jadi minoriti yang memberontak. rasa satu jenis kepuasan.

malam tadi aku macam seorang pelajar sekolah menengah. kalau rumah tingkat satu, mungkin aku tidak akan berfikir dua-tiga kali untuk menyelinap keluar melalui tingkap. mahu rasa thrill. lainkali, aku mahu rasa macam naik roller coaster. lebih thrill.

a man's junk is another man's treasure

it's monday and i'm very, very tired from the weekend. didn't get too much sleep because i was involved in the 2-day weekend event where people who likes to sell stuff (new/used) gather around and dance by the pool. okay. aku rasa lebih kepada mengkritik para hadirin. itu yang aku dengar dari perbualan mereka dan aku sendiri terpaksa join in the fun. malang untuk john.j, tiada mangsa swimming pool pada hari itu so elle's boyfriend doesn't get to buy him a teh tarik. lain kali kamu terjun sendiri ya, john.j. tidak perlu tunggu orang lain. hehe. sabtu malam, i wanted to check out the wild beastly party in the city but i reckon that i'll be very tired the next day (memang aku pulang dan terus pengsan until the next day pun). lola must be very pissed with me because i get the stall very disorganized. tapi aku rasa feel pasar karat kan best. betul cakap elle, the joy of seeing people dig, dig, dig into the beautiful junks we brought, macam best. when i got to know that one of the famous fashion bloggers joining the market, i freaked out. dan bilamasa lola berpesanan ringkas 'her stall is next to ours', rasa macam mahu putus asa dan pulang ke rumah, langsung tidur the whole day. tapi malangnya aku tidak mahu menghampakan teman-teman tersayang jadi perjuangan harus diteruskan. "sebenarnya perasaan takut pada competitor bukan hanya ada pada kita, pada mereka juga ada." john.j was being very supportive and i felt good later that day AND also the next day. tapi seperti biasa ada kunci automatik di mulut ini jadi aku ini semacam sombong, mungkin. but i'm actually very shy, you know. that was my first time joining an event like that and like i've said a zillion times before, i just don't know the right steps to mingle. ugh. pathetic, i know. keuntungan yang aku dapat for a first-timer: not bad. the sales for both days covered the rent for the stall and the rack. dan sedikit duit lebih untuk beli rokok. hehe. i'm really happy that my friends came to support and yes, john.j, you made my day, both saturday & sunday. you know that i'm really lucky to be having you around, right? :)

but please break my heart now. i'm so scared that i'll be deep and passionate with you and somehow, that particular beautiful moment, you're going to break my heart. well, unintentionally. ada satu macam perasaan risau yang sangat kuat. where are we heading now, john.j? aku takut. kamu tahu aku paling takut dengan kehilangan, kan?

business hidup

aah...

kadang-kadang hidup ini macam melintas track litar F1 di sepang sewaktu mereka sedang berlumba. kau tahu the chances of you getting hit at least by a car is very high, tapi kau masih teruskan langkah kau to get to the other side. sebab dalam masa yang sama, kau fikir yang para pemandu kelas dunia itu adalah pemandu hebat, mungkin mereka pantas mengelak.

tapi sebenarnya, kau tak begitu penting pun pada mereka.

kau tahu di iraq sana ada peperangan yang sedang berlaku sejak berkurun lamanya. most of the war victims, dead or alive, are innocent people. tapi kau, yang tiada kena-mengena sangat, buat cool dan jalan di tengah-tengah jalanraya yang dikelilingi bangunan musnah ranap, sambil bersiul. and you know, silap haribulan, ada peluru yang datang menyambar nyawa kau. yang paling best, mungkin sebutir bom. tak kisahlah yang military atau yang dibuat sendiri. janji bom. pasal kau fikir yang mungkin salah satu pihak will shout at you to get out of the way or come and rescue you.

tapi mereka tak peduli sangat pun.

because dude, in the first place, you know that life is a risky business.