ini kemaruk namanya

malam ini aku lari lagi. cari pasir. cari air laut. cari payung untuk aku baring di bawahnya sambil pura-pura baca novel kemudian terlelap. owh. dan cari jawapan untuk the previous misteri kehilangan baju belang-belang.
ikhlas dari hati, aku minta.
tolong...tolonglah jangan cemburu.

menari dengan ombak thai

phuket sangat bersih. i expected patong beach to be as crowded as kuta but i was wrong. we had fun playing in the big waves with paragliders over us in the sky. the shopping experience was obviously way better than bali. we found a pair of red checkered oxford heels for only 250baht. gila ke?! we were running around patong like two mad women with lavid being dragged with us because she's the only one who can speak thai fluently and apparently they'd give way cheaper price if you can speak their language. i even found the dreamy wedding dress, perfect for an island wedding.


i'm considering full time island lover. leaving the thai island wasn't as bad as leaving the previous local island. tapi aku masih mengheret kedua kaki aku dengan hati yang berat waktu berangkat pulang. pasal aku tidak mahu kembali ke setiap pagi yang buat hati aku berdebar setiap kali aku memutar steering wheel ke ruang letak kereta. semacam takut yang pada dasarnya, aku masih vulnerable. persis waktu awal dahulu.

your part time island lover

being single, buat aku berubah pendirian. soalan kau, bolehkah aku berubah? well, masih ada ego lagi tapi tidak begitu tinggi. mungkin sudah kurang hingga sama ketinggian aku. and i'm slightly different. tapi aku tidak begitu pasti for the better or worse. yang aku sedar i've become a sucker for compliments and getaways. jadi jangan salahkan aku bila aku mengangguk kepada ajakan kali ini. pulau adalah salah satu favourite venue getaway aku. part time job aku: island lover. synergy, it's show time!

ya kit theng rao nah!

take me away for i'll always be your island lover

trip melarikan diri was dreamy. the sand, the clear water, the colourful fishes, the wind, the sun, the stars yang malu sambil bermain sorok-sorok buat aku lupa realiti yang sentiasa menghantui aku, menggigit bahu aku sekadar mahu menguji kekuatan diri sendiri. dan di saat aku menaip satu-persatu huruf di keyboard untuk membina ayat yang kononnnya menarik untuk dibaca, how i wish i'm still there lying under that umbrella with '666' written on it dan biarkan saja angin laut meniup segala mimpi enak ke arah ku. hari terakhir buat aku rasa gerun pasal aku tahu akan segala kekusutan yang menunggu aku di kota durjana, yang tidak sabar untuk menyambut kepulangan ku. a stumble upon a familiar face made me recall some memories of the past. aku ada punya rahsia: i like drunkards. because they don't think too much and it's easy being around them. though it was just one night, but i appreciated the conversation. ketara, perasaan rindu menyelimuti kami. but not to each other instead to those people we wished were there with us on the island. and the best thing when you're with a drunkard, they won't remember a thing the next day. biar aku saja yang simpan memori itu pasal memang, aku suka menghunus pisau ke atas diri sendiri. slowly, i think i'm starting to forget how it feels like to be happy. jadi aku cuba menghargai saat-saat bahagia yang aku lalui. dalam kepala aku semacam ada sebuah album bahagia yang penuh dengan snapshots dengan mereka yang pernah menyumbangkan perasaan bahagia untuk aku. ala, yang lepas itu, lepas lah. usah dikenang lagi. tapi itu sahaja yang aku ada, something that i can hold on to, tidak mahu ia dibawa ombak. the getaway this time, aku lebih puas hati pasal i get to see the sharks (eventhough it meant leaving your friends behind. he he), i get to have a long conversation with a familiar face that i've never had the chance talking to, got a shot of better sunset, playing in the water with kebaya on plus calling out to the stars. and mind you, we were all high on just life on the island itself. no extra substance. goody two-shoes? tidak juga. well, some stuff are better left unsaid. tapi apa yang aku pasti, ada tanda-tanda untuk kami semua kembali to that dreamy island.



di luar tingkap sekarang, langit mendung terusan mengubah mood bahagia.

"it feels weird isn't it when you call your ex at 12 noon and a sleepy girl answered? or maybe tak weird pun pasal ex kau, kan? perlu ke kau kisah? tak perlu, kan? feels like shit, sial. babipukimak. aku nak balik ke pulau."

gotta get away from these urban system

an sms sent to close friends: rasa macam nak nangis. tak mau balik :(

ada panggilan kecemasan

somebody wants me to be their island lover! :D

my current happy pictures

this was last year. i know it's gonna happen again this year. crossing my fingers.

it's just a typical new year

another three days to new year and i still don't have resolutions. not even one. well, does it matter? because it's always the same every year and nothing ever changes. we list them but forgot about it later after all the parties & fireworks & kisses & drugs & alcohols & what is, what not. actually, i gave up on listing new year's resolution long time ago. heh.

happy new year, anyway.