aku adalah pretty, pretty nights kau

beautiful nights
gorgeous nights
pretty, pretty nights

pada kau
pada kau
pada kau

untuk kau
untuk kau
untuk kau

aku mahu
jadi yang itu

pretty, pretty nights
untuk kau
untuk kau
untuk kau

hanya yang itu
hanya untuk kau


-fzk-

to like and be liked

"ei, kau sekarang memang dah takde boyfriend lah?" suara yang malas-malas, kulit gelap hasil lepak stadium (apa barang wei lepak pulau?!), mata kuyu. i nodded.
"padanlah kau macam lost je."
nice reply, dude.

and i've figured out. kira-kira, campur, tolak, darab, bahagi, pembezaan, pengamiran kemudian bundarkan. tidak perlu cari cinta yang itu. just fall in like.

"macam awak kan, berusaha untuk cuba." saturday afternoon, i was thinking whether lilac would look good on the batik i bought on one of the island getaways. dan aku kerut dahi.
"bukan try lah. i'm just enjoying the moment." pasal currently, aku hanya cintakan compliments and getaways. on skeptical mode, aku boleh jadi infatuasi kau. if you can be my infatuation too.
it's a give and take business, remember?

retail therapy

guitarist. deepset. friday night. white top. black sheep.
aku mahu beli. berapa?

keyboardist. the otherside orchestra. long fingers.
aku mahu beli. berapa?

nice one.
*awak hot. jangan marah saya curi, ya?

update: entri ini adalah setulus hati. tidak bermaksud menyinggung perasaan sesiapa. i guess rumors gets around fast :)

this hardcore moment should be cherished

dewa dewi mimpi, dewa dewi perasaan, dewa dewi cinta, dewa dewi harapan; you should be happy because you are gonna get that long holiday you've been wanting all these while. aku faham perasaan kau semua, penat dan bosan dengan kerja. ya, seperti aku juga. jadi aku beri kau semua cuti pasal malam yang satu itu, aku sudah dapat jawapan yang dicari-cari. walaupun aku tersadung sedikit tapi tidak mengapa lah. i've prepared for the worst to come. and it came. not exactly the way i predicted but it was quite the same. tapi aku tidak faham kenapa kau perlu shoot me back with that kind of question. aku tidak kisah kalau kau rasa i'm a loser for asking that peculiar question but at least aku jujur and now i've got my answer. satu score untuk malam minggu. malam yang sebelumnya pula, i've realized that the main personal reason i'm here in this world is just for sex. to be calling me out of the blue with the excuse you haven't seen me in a while and came up with a heavy hangover, cara kau memang salah untuk dapatkan apa saja that you had in mind at that moment. kalau kau rasa apa yang kau baca ini adalah a wrong impression i had on you, you know what to do. but i guess we both know, we are only each others' infatuation. nothing more, nothing less right? that's how you want it to be. jadi para dewa dewi, kau semua aku beri off day. sampai bila, aku masih belum pasti. just stay on-call. because nobody's hardcore enough.

"he's cute kan? tapi dia corrupted la." we skipped across the zebra lane.
"yeah. he's cute. but everyone else in this durjana city is corrupted. you, me, no exception." and we laughed our way up to the usual friday night hide-out.

every sin leaves a mark

monday meeting, i was sitting across the boss and saw he had a silver chain around his neck. i thought maybe he's an undercover mafia and whether he have tattoos all over his body. and an image of Viggo Mortensen sitting on the couch with only his underpants on (fuh. berpeluh aku) came across my mind. ha ha. so elle, dana, jude & i watched Eastern Promises last night at the (how many stars, again?) mall. it was a good movie, good plot, with some funny dialogues and a scene where Viggo Mortensen lebih dari separuh bogel. he's hot, huh? you should check out Munich. a very good movie too.


on saturday, after a couple of years, i went out with a guy. we walked around the twin tower mall, talking, smoking and checkout some sneakers. john was very talkative. he likes to talk. he got beautiful eyes that i can't help thinking about kissing them. dan jambang yang buat aku gemuruh. but the date made us realize that we were just each other's infatuation. which was fine by me because of course, didn't it all went to fast? i told mill that by this week everything will get back to normal mode. and apparently john's ex-wife is my ex's girlfriend after me. the city is getting smaller day by day and i hate it. we had relationship conversations and john insisted on me getting back with 'heart. i was pissed because i think i had enough pressure from him and i don't think i need any addition from someone i'm curious to be kissing with. 'heart had been sending messages on death and such. dude, kita semua belum bersedia untuk mati. jangan dipermainkan soal mati. and now it's my fault right? MEMANG PUN. i'm fucken pissed with the situation that i feel like shutting myself up, alone in a secluded corner, somewhere where people don't know me. why can't he understand? i'm not fully healed yet. from the previous wounds. "weeping wounds that never heal" so sang Placebo. all i need is just some time off. that's all. janganlah terburu-buru. anyway, 'heart, i'm glad you know how it feels like to be really heart broken. been there, done that.