manusia itu adalah sesuatu yang subjektif

if a person is good to another, it doesn't mean that same person is good to another different person. and if a person is bad towards another person, doesn't mean that same person is bad to another different person too.
come on. even pembunuh pun ada kisah cintanya tersendiri. kalau kau ikut jalan yang berwarna hijau itu, tidak semestinya yang lain suka akan jalan yang sama. try and put yourself in other people's shoes. you'll find it easier to tolerate. trust me.

another 8 facts. i should be rich by now

aksi bijak oleh ben donasco capulet sempena tiada kerja urgent di pejabat. tapi aku rasa macam pernah buat ini tag...

The Rules :
1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged, and to read your blog.



#1
i've always wonder about other people's lives. like, maybe they lead a much fun, interesting and exciting life than mine. in the state that i am in, obviously i guess. i wonder what it feels like to be a teacher, a nurse, an engineer working on blue prints somewhere in japan, a housewife married to a rich guy or a dedicated fashion designer. pasal sekarang ini, setiap pagi, i have to drag my feet to the office. last night, i even thought of going back to petrosains and do those creative things and just mix around with different people everyday. kurang bosan sikit.

#2
kadang-kadang aku judgmental. it's bad, you know. tapi jarang-jarang saja aku judgmental. and usually if were to be judgmental, memang betul pun aku patut berperasaan sebegitu. tapi aku ulang lagi sekali ya, jarang-jarang saja aku judgmental. mungkin tindakan hormon.

#3
aku rasa aku selalu membuat keputusan playsafe. i'm paranoid of what may come in the future. langsung ini menunjukkan yang sebenarnya aku tidak mempunyai self-esteem yang tinggi. waktu final presentation di kolej, aku kena bang dengan lecturer yang tidak dikenali. aku keluar studio, i fucken cried, man. rasa macam loser. suatu perasaan yang agak tepat dengan situation, i guess. and also my current self.

#4
i always put myself in other people's shoes. always try my best to treat them just like how i want to be treated. in that way, i can be a nicer person. itu perspektif pemikiran aku lah. okay. aku jadi begini pasal aku macam dah penat dengan manusia-manusia sial yang kurang ajar yang buat-buat tak nampak dengan kewujudan aku lantas lupa mahu respect hak aku. but at least i've become a better person. kan?

#5
aku paling liat kalau mahu ke bank atau isi petrol kereta. dua perkara yang memang aku sangat, sangat malas untuk buat. aku pun tak tahu kenapa.

#6
there are too many things going on inside my head. a part of it are ideas. jumbled-up ideas which i don't know how to express it. so in the end, i forgot about them. aku rasa aku ada simptom hangat-hangat tahi ayam. atau mungkin dasar pemalas saja.

#7
aku bukan dari jenis spesis yang apa-aku-mahu-aku-akan-dapatkan. i'm whiny, you know. but at times i do remember to appreciate things. tapi tak cukup bagus kan kalau mahu hidup di kota durjana where everyone's practically running to just about everything?

#8
i think i've fallen in love. and i'm worried. aku takut pasal aku semacam confident yang dia ada ciri-ciri to break my heart. betul. biasanya dalam hal-hal sebegini, my instinct is right. like, always. i don't really want to think of this so far as that but i couldn't help myself. pasal salah satu perkara yang menghantui aku adalah to be unloved.



these lucky eight people listed below HAVE TO attend to this tag:
robot s.a.
fa alif ya zai
rockadiva
sarah who got weird stuff running around inside her head
kammu
andre
andrea fonseka
black jetta

if you don't do this, i think some unlucky stuff are gonna get ya! wooo!

and now my life is sweeter than berries

i guess if we have sex our love will turn to wine.

we are our fortunate accidents

serendipity. yes, i love how the word sounds. a fortunate accident. something that’s not a surprise for a dreamer like me to hold on to. did you know of a movie of this title? starring kate beckinsale and john cusack, the whole story revolves around destiny, faith, fate and of course, serendipity. hmm…i’m already considering that for my daughter’s name. i received the movie from a friend two nights ago, in fact i received a couple of movies too but dragged of watching it. i chose enchanted (which i watched half-way because the cd got stuck), then moved to 27 dresses (cerita kahwin-kahwin), the last 6 episodes of gossip girls (season one) yang juga ada kena-mengena dengan perkahwinan, a korean movie called once upon a time in high school then after much hesitation, baru aku proceed with serendipity. the reason i dreaded watching the movie was because aku tidak mahu perasaan aku dipengaruhi. tapi seperti biasa, aku kecundang juga. but with restrictions. aku suka tengok cerita cinta yang memakan masa, contoh macam a lot like love: cerita cinta yang datang dan pergi dan akhirnya decided to stay forever. okay. i’m not sure if it’s forever or not pasal segala yang bermula biasanya ada ending, kan? tragic or dramatic, depends on the situation. there were a couple of scenes from the movie that caught me off-guard. salah satu, sewaktu both of them were searching information about the other person, the song playing at that time was st. germain’s rose rouge. salah satu lagu favourite dalam double cd paris lounge’s 1st edition. i think i got the cd like, 5 to 6 years back. and somebody that i were to meet in the future have heard of it too, in his favourite movie. ironically, i’ve watched this movie once, way back, but i’ve never realized the song before. the next scene which made me replaying it several times was this time when john cusack finally gave up on finding the mystery girl because the clues that his friend and him got led let them to a bridal shop (well, he was about to get married but insisted on finding this mystery girl). when he told his friend that he should just proceed with the wedding, the friend, who was so against on finding the girl in the first place, thought john cusack was absurd and shouted “that’s lucid!”. yeah, he practically screamed out my cat’s name. tersedak si montel yang degil itu sekejap. tersedak 2-3 kali juga pasal aku asyik replay the scene just to get it right. a word that i got so fond of (from my favourite term, lucid dream). aduh. aku rasa menyesal pula tengok movie tu. now i have things trying to make sense in my head. or somebody should slap me to get some senses in my ever questioning mind. memang ketara aku seorang dreamer yang tegar, tapi i don’t practice believing that well. pasal semuanya hanya sekadar mimpi saja. jadi selepas dua scene yang agak menggoyangkan itu, i said to myself: i need a third sign and that’s it. but then again, what it? pasal perlu ke aku get involve again. cukup lah kerosakan yang aku alami. okay. so i decided just for the fun of it.
and i did find it. the third thing: a high end brand and a feather-like fish. ikan yang aku bela sejak tahun lepas, dipengaruhi oleh sebuah movie korea, ili mare.

owh. nampaknya terbukti movies does a lot of things to me. it even decides on how i live my life. haha. sebenarnya terbukti yang aku ini, walaupun skeptical, terlalu senang untuk dipengaruhi.
sayang, you're a fortunate accident. an accident that will reduce the percentage of me tripping over in the future.

snap your fingers and the love will vanish

just like that.

back then, waktu aku selalu berkhayal, selalu juga aku fikirkan bahawa pasangan-pasangan mana yang bercinta, tidak mungkin akan hilang cintanya untuk satu sama lain dalam sekelip mata. lebih lagi yang sudah bercinta untuk sekian lamanya. but last night i had my dose of gossip girl (series 13-18) where my favourite couple broke up overnight. and the conversation i had with ex-heart yesterday, made me change my mind. for four years i've been dating a jerk. or he wasn't before but he is now. apa-apa pun, aku macam kecil hati dengan perangai yang ditunjuknya semalam. sampai hati dia melontarkan kata-kata begitu kepada aku. but maybe he became who he is now because of me. he does have a good side to him because then i wouldn't have fallen for him four years back. tidak mengapalah pasal semuanya pun sudah lepas. yes, it seems that i shouldn't be playing along in this game of hatred but it's kind of hard when we still see each other in the office.
jadi cinta itu memang boleh hilang dengan sekelip mata sahaja, sekaligus dengan perasaan belas kasihan. a saddening fact i just have to face. it seems that i'm not the one looking out for your faults anymore. but it's you, who asked me to think wisely, are doing it now. i'm asking you to just recall whatever happened in that four years we were together. the good, the bad, the ugly. dan jangan lupa tentang karma, ya. please.

advice for sale?

taken from stylescout.blogspot.com

can i maybe rent a stall at the KLurbanscapes that'll be happening in june and sell advices? for only RM1.20 (advice + paper)

owh. so you're not really interested in getting advices from me? okay. what about a kissing stall?
yes? better?

pesanan ringkas

kepada kawan-kawan bekas kekasih, aku tak pernah kacau hidup kau semua. jadi tolong jangan kurang ajar dengan aku.

obviously, you don't know the whole story.

don't let the world bring you down. not everyone here is that fucked up and cold

apologies to those people i snapped at. pasal aku pun sudah jadi merepek.

tapi aku jadi merepek pasal dipengaruhi oleh orang-orang yang merepek. and last night i turned to incubus's 'make yourself' to boost up my self-esteem. as selfish as i can be, most of the time i think about other people's sensitiveness. i was pissed yesterday because some people they're just fucken ignorant about what other people feels. macam minta kena tendang di kepala untuk menyedarkan sesuatu yang logik. kau tahu lagu robot asmara 'hati besi'? nah. i dedicate that song to you people out there. siapa yang makan cili, dia lah yang terasa pedasnya.
last night's outing was fun. i hung out with positive minded friends. robot asmara was really good that they got themselves another gig offer. i'm so proud of them. kamu semua boleh terbang melintasi laut china selatan. just believe, okay?
we were supposed to go for an island getaway this weekend tapi kalau kawan kau yang seorang kaki party, yang seorang penyanyi pop dan yang seorang lagi masih seorang intern yang confuse tentang kariernya, terpaksalah kau berwajah begini: -_- dan akhirnya sebulat suara bersetuju dengan plan si kaki party untuk mendaki bukit curam for it's long lost party, theme park and cool breeze. and the next day i have to drive mak to seremban for a wedding. memang perlu aku pakai sut supergirl tau! i'm thinking about this style for the cool breeze up there:
but instead of the exact outfit above, i'm going to wear a grey blazer, white shirt, denim skirt cut-offs, black leggings and sneakers. since i couldn't find any high-cut sneakers (preferably those nike dunks), i'm gonna put on ben's white high-cut converse instead. macam tidak berapa berminat pasal nanti kaki aku nampak kecil. tsk. i need a pair of high-cut dunks. kalau aliph lagi cool. ada sesiapa mahu jual?










a note to the past, please just stay there. don't you dare come near me because i'm afraid i have to say this out:
aku semacam bahagia.
jangan kusutkan aku yang mudah kusut ini. jangan kejutkan aku di tengah malam buta untuk mengalami perasaan macam sial. jangan buat aku snap in front of innocent people lagi.

an ambiguous animation painted on public walls

gila dope!
blu

sinaran harapan dalam bentuk seorang leng chai

the apartment i'm currently staying with my colleague is 20 minutes drive to work, 30 minutes drive to the durjana city. it's a nice place with a 24-hour macdonald's and a mall nearby. the only problem with the apartment is that there's no disposal room on each floors so you have to bring down your garbage to the big dump downstairs. it's really uncomfortable if there's some other tenants sharing you the lift on the trip to the dump. and the parking space given to each houses; one parking space per house and ours is 6 floors below our apartment which makes the trip from our house to the parking space then the trip out to the guardhouse takes approximately 10 minutes. previously when the other colleague was still a housemate, i had to park my car outside of the apartment. i didn't rent any empty space because i couldn't find any suitable placing (plus aku memang malas/pelupa mahu cari pun). terbukti ramai juga penghuni apartment yang cheapskate pasal parking di luar memang selalu penuh. and knowing me who loves wandering around and coming home late, aku selalu ada masalah untuk cari parking space and ended up parking at the roundabout nearby. but since the other tenant left, i now takeover her parking space. tapi sebenarnya bukan itu yang aku mahu ceritakan di sini. the people living in vista PP are mostly families. well, it is a nice place with the swimming pool, grocery store, gym and some other facilities. foreigners pun ada. yang perangai peghak pun ada juga. (e.g "hai, nak pergi mana tu?" "ada phone number?") ya lah, bukan nak kata aku ini cantik-mati, but i just don't like it. itu encounters waktu aku parking di luar and i had to walk past the burger stall, guardhouse, swimming pool to get to the lift. aku rasa aku phobia dengan orang-orang yang tidak dikenali. ada ke penyakit macam itu? anyway, bukan itu juga yang sebenarnya aku mahu ceritakan di entri ini. aku sebenarnya mahu bercerita tentang leng chai yang aku discover about a week ago. hehe. from the parking space to the lift, i have to walk either a floor below or above the parking space floor. aku macam pelik sebab parking floor is 4A (and there is a 4th floor, of course) so i had to either go to 1st or 2nd floor to get the lift up.

usually, if lavid's around, we'll go to the 1st floor because both of us are too lazy to even climb the stairs. tapi selalunya, kalau aku seorang, i'll go to the 2nd floor sebab perjalanannya turun-naik. konon exercise sikit. harrram. haha. okay, berbalik kepada leng chai tadi. so you can imagine the joy i felt when i was walking on the 2nd floor towards the lift, walked past someone who was getting out of the house then tagged behind me to the lift (i still didn't know the gender of the follower) and then walked in to the same lift as mine, was a leng chai! *mata bersinar dengan sinaran harapan. hahaha! at last i've found something interesting to look forward to everytime i come home now.

itu saja yang aku mahu cerita untuk hari ini.
owh. robot asmara will be performing with 3 other bands tonight at that laundry. come over and bring your dirty clothes along!

the worst in me

you know, aku selalu sunyi. when i told elle that i don't know how to mingle around, she rolled her eyes. tapi hakikatnya memang betul. everyday, i make believe that i have the confidence of facing the days ahead but inside, the glass is not even half-full. most of the time, i wouldn't mind being alone. and another most of the time, aku jadi gila just being alone. things, craps kept playing in my head, provoking with my own emotions. lately, i felt invisible. dari dulu lagi, walaupun nampak macam i have a big circle of friends, i'm always the one left behind. though i'm loud, outgoing sometimes, but really people, you don't know what goes on behind this closed door.
the other night, john.j said that it'll be unfair for me to be with him. ada sedikit hampa dengan statement itu tapi it didn't really bother me. sebab dua, tiga hari kemudian, as i thought about what he said and the happenings around me, i decided that instead of unfair for me, it's actually unfair for him to be with me. currently, i'm not in a good state to jump to another relationship. pelbagai hutang yang belum selesai. last night, i realized i can't handle jealousy quite well. i hate jealousy because it could drive me mad, brings out the worst in me. dan tempiasnya sudah tentu akan terkena pada mereka yang berdekatan. yang buruk biar aku seorang tanggung. yang lain hanya perlu gembira, bukan susah hati kerana aku yang selfish ini. i don't want to burden those people i love. ya, pemikiran aku cetek macam ini. pemikiran aku bicara tentang kebahagiaan si teman, bukan gundah-gulana yang datangnya dari aku. buat apa mahu hidup semati dengan aku kalau susah yang perlu ditempuhi? that's why i left my previous relationship. at this moment i think i'll end up alone until i die because i'm no angel myself. i don't think i can bring pure happiness to my future partner/s.


minggu lepas, aku pathetic.



semalam, aku rasa john. j hot. gila.





hari ini, aku sunyi.

gorgon starring in unfaithful

Tag kali ini berkaitan dengan tag mari melukis binatang sebelom ini. Kali ini tugasan anda ialah melukis satu scene dari filem menggunakan watak dari lukisan anda tadi.

*Untuk tidak menghilangkan feel lukisan asal, anda semua tak boleh tukar cara melukis. Kalau tag sebelom ni pakai mouse, stay with mouse. Kalau pakai pensel, maintain juge. Yang penting same care n medium. TQ :D

Sila lampirkan juga link image lukisan anda di bawah sebagai panduan mereka di masa hadapan..

Radin - turtle Starwars
bAdd - gajah Godfather
angel - ayam Honey
cikanum - itek zombie
senandung k - unfaithful

so i doodled a tyrannosaurus and named him gorgon. this is the scene from the movie unfaithful i referred to:




and this is the doodled scene where i inserted gorgon as a character in the movie:


get it? gorgon? PUAS HATI???

so yeah, i don't know if everyone else got tagged. because if i were to tag the other people, they have to be tagged first by drawing the animals (started by ben donasco capulet)

tapi tag kali ini memang macam haram. syabas, badd!