remember what your mom said?
"cari yang sayang kau lebih."
maksudnya...bagi dia makan nasi kangkang ke?
Rabu, September 29
Jumaat, September 24
life is somewhat fair enough
yes, i shall be a wife one day. a fat one at that. and my husband will leave me for a younger skinny, pretty girl but that's okay because as long as i stay a loyal wife, God shall place me in heaven (where there are other single men resembling Jon Kortajarena or Pharrell Williams or Anthony Kiedis)
eh. have to stay a loyal wife & also loyal to God. of course
Elle said, "we can never get everything,huh?". I replied, "mestilah. pasal kita pun tak bagi Tuhan everything He asked for."
eh. have to stay a loyal wife & also loyal to God. of course
Elle said, "we can never get everything,huh?". I replied, "mestilah. pasal kita pun tak bagi Tuhan everything He asked for."
Ahad, September 5
tentang Ahmad
ceritanya bermula dengan lampu neon warna-warni, loud music, intoxicated crowd dan sepasang sneakers. Nike to be precise. owh, dan sofa malas favourite masing-masing yang bertandang. i don't know him, haven't seen him before tapi aku tidak pasti kenapa i was suddenly attracted to him. yes, a crush. at that time, i was someone else's. but it's just a crush, right? i tried to make conversation but he doesn't talk much. well, neither do i. setahun lebih agaknya aku layan crush-stalking online. secretly wanted to be at the same venue that he's attending. but i didn't really made any move pasal apparently he's a friend of a friend and you what they say about dating someone from your same circle of friends: nahas.
tapi aku memang suka konon tunjuk gangster jadi i decided untuk cari pasal. what exactly triggered me was the fact that i was dating someone else at the moment and he seemed serious about it jadi aku cuak. aku fikir, let's just try my luck asking the sneaker guy out before i get serious with anyone. he doesn't talk much jadi aku assume he won't agree. tapi bila aku beritahu dia hajat di hati, he asked, "so when?". kau rasa positive remark dari a crush rasanya macam mana? of course cloud nine. so we went for a date. then twice and thrice and a few more. after about two years single, suddenly he said he was ready for a relationship. of course i freaked out because i knew from the beginning i don't fit his bill at all. like, if there's a casting session, belum sempat isi borang, aku dah forfeited. when i asked him why he decided on me, he said, "i can't explain it but you're..something." jadi sampai hari ini aku masih tidak tahu apa yang buat dia mahu aku. bilamasa aku tanya, dia hanya akan jawab yang itu atau change the subject.
i have doubts. dulu dan sekarang the doubts are taking over. jadi aku perlu sesuatu yang mutlak untuk aku lepaskan nafas lega. sayang itu ada tapi still, something's missing. i know i'm being selfish pasal sibuk cari chemistry. salahkah kalau aku rasa chemistry itu penting? Andre kata aku patut chill. aku mahu but i couldn't help myself from comparing.
kalau rindu patut saja cari dan hug him from behind, sifat aku macam itu. tapi why should i go to that spot again when i know that things between us won't change? he'll still be ignorant like that, i'll still keep on finding chemistry/faults/what-nots. Anne said, "while we're busy being choosy, other people are being choosy too. so try and compromise." aku rasa aku dah cuba compromise but to no avail. or it's just me being very spoiled by my past love-encounters. tapi kalau malas mahu fikir lagi, shows that you don't really care pun, kan?
"he loves me but i love you more
he loves me but i love you more"
tapi aku memang suka konon tunjuk gangster jadi i decided untuk cari pasal. what exactly triggered me was the fact that i was dating someone else at the moment and he seemed serious about it jadi aku cuak. aku fikir, let's just try my luck asking the sneaker guy out before i get serious with anyone. he doesn't talk much jadi aku assume he won't agree. tapi bila aku beritahu dia hajat di hati, he asked, "so when?". kau rasa positive remark dari a crush rasanya macam mana? of course cloud nine. so we went for a date. then twice and thrice and a few more. after about two years single, suddenly he said he was ready for a relationship. of course i freaked out because i knew from the beginning i don't fit his bill at all. like, if there's a casting session, belum sempat isi borang, aku dah forfeited. when i asked him why he decided on me, he said, "i can't explain it but you're..something." jadi sampai hari ini aku masih tidak tahu apa yang buat dia mahu aku. bilamasa aku tanya, dia hanya akan jawab yang itu atau change the subject.
i have doubts. dulu dan sekarang the doubts are taking over. jadi aku perlu sesuatu yang mutlak untuk aku lepaskan nafas lega. sayang itu ada tapi still, something's missing. i know i'm being selfish pasal sibuk cari chemistry. salahkah kalau aku rasa chemistry itu penting? Andre kata aku patut chill. aku mahu but i couldn't help myself from comparing.
kalau rindu patut saja cari dan hug him from behind, sifat aku macam itu. tapi why should i go to that spot again when i know that things between us won't change? he'll still be ignorant like that, i'll still keep on finding chemistry/faults/what-nots. Anne said, "while we're busy being choosy, other people are being choosy too. so try and compromise." aku rasa aku dah cuba compromise but to no avail. or it's just me being very spoiled by my past love-encounters. tapi kalau malas mahu fikir lagi, shows that you don't really care pun, kan?
"he loves me but i love you more
he loves me but i love you more"
Rabu, September 1
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