stay strong for the sake of three years.

it was late monday night that 'heart threw at me his sony ericsson. said something about me, wanting his phone that bad. yes. we had a fight. again.
5 minutes earlier, we were lying around at the hall of my apartment. he was babbling about not having sufficient credits to reply to some band guy for an interview. i was just under his armpit when his phone received another message. my bad, i took it from him & it turned out the message was from a singaporean girl asking whether he's online or not.

so i said, "jom!i want to chat with her too." he didn't look too good.

the thing is, we had some fights in the past about girls messaging him or the other way round. though i've been telling him over & over again how i dislike him to have any girl friends (because of some shits happened circa 2006). i'm just not into how he befriended those girls. of course i have the right in saying this: we've been practically living together for 2 years. but just last week, i gave up. just like that. i told him that he can do whatever he wants. i want to stop minding his business since it always made me hurt.
so that monday night, i wasn't mad. i knew about this girl. he told me she's a friend of his singaporean friend whom i'm kinda close to. honestly, i wasn't mad at all. but he made an issue about it. he said i could've just chat with her on myspace. now, if there is nothing going on between him & that girl, why can't i chat with her using his account? i know, his msn account is full of singaporean girls. i guess my snooping habit got to his nerve. he was paranoid. he said everytime he gets a message, he trembled. worrying who sent those messages.
i'm not sure if i'm lying to myself about not giving a damn about these girls anymore. i want to believe the statement i told him about not caring anymore.
sometimes, when the same thing happen again & again AND again, you just can't take it anymore. honestly, i'm tired. and in need of a break from all these.