jujur aku lupa

last night me and my colleagues went to my favourite pharmacy to get stuff for our island getaway. as i was searching for sunblock, cooling gel plus raking my brains on what i should bring along, a hand tapped on my arms. looking up, it was my ex's (yang lama dulu sebelum ex-heart) girlfriend.

"hello! what are you doing here?"
"i tinggal kajang lah," dee answered. and the conversation went on about what she's currently doing, why i was there at the pharmacy and owh. "you look slimmer and prettier now." to which i've found the nicest, down-to-earth reply: "mana ada. but thanks. i like your eyes' perspective." aku rasa aku dah pandai confront statement macam itu. he he. the next part of the conversation got better,
"eh, urm...i nak tanya you lah," she went on. i don't know why, but i kind of knew what she was about to ask me.
"you dah break dengan boyfriend you eh?" kan aku sudah agak.
"yeah. why? you pun kenal (insert current ex's name here) ?" aku pula yang tanya.
"owh. tak. hari tu i nampak my friend punya friend dengan dia. are they like, together now?"
"well, i guess so," aku jawab with the sweetest smile ever. ugh. dunia semakin menghimpit.
"really? ish, kesian you." her reply which surprised me. agaknya dia sudah tidak tahu how to react to that. sweet.
"no lah. okay lah tu. better that way." dan aku sambung dalam hati 'that's what i wanted anyway'.
"so you single lah ni?" dee asked. adakah mungkin dia risau yang aku akan cari boyfriendnya pula? i'm not like that, i think. i wonder if i do seem to her like the type who'd contact her ex if ever i'm out of any relationship. or the type who grabs somebody else's boyfriend. bukanlah. pasal aku sudah kecut sama karma. eh, tapi aku tidak pernah pun terfikir untuk merampas hak sesiapa, ya.
"i guess so. but i'm currently seeing someone." and i could see a tiny, little 'phew' on her face. atau mungkin perasaan aku sahaja. conversation selepas itu macam merepek pasal aku sememangnya tidak tahu untuk create a decent conversation with an ex's girlfriend. (owh! aku baru teringat. mungkin dia curious with my current status pasal when she said she's gonna continue her studies in kuantan, aku provoke "habislah. so far away from your boyfriend." aduh. is that the best statement i could come up with?!) but i reminded her that her current boyfriend won't do stuff behind her back. satu lagi statement yang aku rasa salah juga pasal that statement macam menunjukkan bahawa i know her boyfriend better. alahai... these are the reasons on why i hate making conversations with strangers. might as well shut myself up, kan?
dinner at the fast food outlet, was bingit with laughters. ya! zatix was doing the alien-side of her again. tapi kalau tiada dia waktu getaway nanti, tentu bosan. tiada subjek untuk dibahan. ha ha. and then we started talking about my previous relationship where cikanum said "mr.E selalu cerita kat aku pasal kau dengan (insert ex's name here)."
and mills added "ha'ah. masa awak duduk kat belakang tu, sampai ke tempat saya boleh dengar awak nangis." what?! i cried that loud? owh no... i did not...
"betul. sampai ada satu masa tu the whole office senyap and siap bangun, trying to check you out." owh. no. no. no. teruk sampai macam itu? gila.
"but i don't remember telling mr.E about it. did i?" aku tanya jujur.
"wei, dia kata kau siap tunjuk kat dia messages ex-boyfriend kau dengan that girl. kau tak ingat ke?" cikanum asked. aku geleng kepala, jujur tidak langsung mengingati situasi itu. aku sendiri rasa pelik kenapa perlu aku ceritakan benda-benda remeh begitu pada boyfriendnya. macam kelakar saja. aku toleh kepada zatix and she had this straight face on her. she mouthed "gila". hahaha! okay. sumpah aku lupa.
"mungkin kau memang dalam keadaan tak sedar kot. and kau jenis yang main cerita je dengan sesiapa yang ada dekat kau time tu," zatix mengeluarkan pendapat. mungkin. ish. kenapa aku jadi begitu teruk? mungkin betul cakap zatix the other day at the office,
"kau ni macam tak hidup. macam takde kat sini. aku rasa kau ni tak betul lah."

heh.