hidup yang unfair lagi pendek

last thursday, another of mili's friend passed away because of an accident. apparently, he was mili's bestfriend's boyfriend (that passed away last christmas). mungkin dia cinta kuat...Al-Fatihah. so mili and i decided that hidup ini pendek. kita sudah tidak mampu membuang masa lagi. every choices that we chose have to be the right ones. mistakes tidak perlu diulangi lagi. dan pasal hidup ini pendek, sememangnya kita tidak mungkin akan dapat apa yang kita mahu. we know ourselves that we want a whole bunch of things but what we really have to work for are the things that we really need. aku tahu, dalam jangkamasa aku hidup 24 tahun ini, pelbagai chances passed me by tapi aku hanya mengendahkannya dangan alasan lack of self-esteem mahupun mungkin ada orang di luar sana yang lebih memerlukan those chances offered to me. though sometimes we can actually have what we want cuma tak boleh saja. alaa, tak boleh lah atas sebab-sebab tertentu (yang kadang-kadang atas sebab-sebab tak munasabah pun ada). i have always had this indecisiveness in me, for example when i used to take public transport to get me somewhere, and late for a date, i can't decide which public transport (train? bus? cab?) i should take to get there fast. sometimes, i even hesitate on whether i'm on the right route to my house (yes. even if i've been using it hundred of times). jadi, hidup lah seboleh-bolehnya hari ini untuk hari ini, macam esok tak akan ada. appreciate and caress what you have now. mistakes in the past should be a lesson and not to be repeated. masa itu bagaikan si arnab putih yang kelam-kabut bergegas untuk berjumpa queen of hearts dalam cerita fantasi alice in wonderland. kerap kali kita mengutarakan kisah life yang unfair. mungkin selama ini ikita telah memilih the wrong choices? anne said: 'yang baik itu datang dari Tuhan. yang jahat datang dari kita yang terpedaya dengan godaan syaitan.'

dan ingat, since our lives are short, our parents' lives are even shorter. thanks anne for reminding me.