money talks, bullshit walks

the other night, i was forced by anne to join her business preview in the city. she won't sit still pestering me about her new valuable discovery so i had to say yes to her invitation. okay. 30% of me wanted to know what's the buzz about. as we reached the floor where the preview was held, i felt uneasy. the place was full of corporate looking people and i have this thing about crowded places with unfamiliar faces. senang cerita, i hate the atmosphere. all the time, i kept telling myself, "hey, i shouldn't be this negative. just give this thing a chance. maybe it's worth it." around 8.30pm, we walked in the hall where the preview was done and it was already half-filled. they estimated the audience about a thousand that night. anne's other business partners walked around with this big positive sign on their head. being in the hall, i felt like as if i was attending some kind of a cult's gathering. terlalu banyak aura positif in the air, it's eerie. and they played the future's video on the large screen in front. fakta-fakta yang dihujahkan agak merisaukan dan juga separuh menakutkan. anggaran tentang kemungkinan besar, 10 tahun akan datang, orang-orang berpendapatan RM10,000 akan dilabelkan antara orang-orang bertaraf rendah. overall, the preview was good. tapi buat hati aku gusar. ya, aku yang ignorant ini.
so my colleagues and i were smoking outside the office just now and i suddenly popped the question:
"are you happy with what you are right now? do you think you can achieve what you want and need in say, 5 years time?"

sumpah aku goyang after attending the preview. both of my colleagues were silenced by my question. "owh. itu hari aku checkout business preview." mereka menarik nafas lega pasal aku bukan jenis orang yang suka nak pop killer questions. statement 'bila ada duit, choices are yours' sememangnya betul. kalau kita tidak ada duit, skop pilihan kita kecil. for an example, you only have RM5 for lunch so either you go to the mamak stall or get nasi campur. itu pun lauk kene budget. if you have RM20 for lunch, you can checkout any fast food restaurants or makanan yang lebih menyelerakan dari makanan mamak. alaa, you get the idea right? okay. let's talk about savings. in 10 years time, nilai duit akan naik. jadi macam mana kamu save pun, sama sahaja. faham? macam ini: sekarang se-tin Coke RM1.50, in 5 years time boleh mencecah RM5. so, if in 10 years time your savings reaches RM50, 000, the value is just the same as RM10, 000. lebih kurang begitulah. now it got you thinking right? always they say, it's not the money that matters. itu dulu. sekarang semuanya duit. nak kahwin pun, melafazkan cinta sejati, perlu ada duit. to live your passion, you've got to have the dough. nak fly to amsterdam kena ada dough, mate. by the time i have RM5000, the airfare will be more expensive than today's. tapi ada sesuatu yang aku agak gusar tentang business preview malam isnin lepas. honestly, i don't have that amount of money for me to start the business. conclusion: loan. i'm not confident with loans. bukannya RM100-200. thousands weih. and currently i have debts too. contemplations. complications. another fact is, i don't like to be pestered doing the stuff that i don't like. when i'm ready, i'll join the business. kalau tak, tak lah. aku masih ada banyak lagi perkara remeh yang perlu difikirkan.