talam plastik

there were mugs of alcoholic malt drinks on the table. the chair that we were sitting on, are made of hard-clear-plastic. macam kasut cinderella. aku ingat my first encounter dengan kerusi tersebut. di hotel luxurious sunway kalau tidak silap. al memerhatikan mereka yang keluar-masuk bar. kemudian dia cerita pasal salah seorang kawan perempuan yang di mana pada pendapat dia, macam poyo sangat. aku rasa kalau aku sebut namanya, kau mungkin kenal dia pasal she's cute but she had too much illegal substance since a teenager. aku cakap mungkin she was just trying to make a conversation with him. something yang pada dia, boleh link dirinya dengan al. he said, "apa dia ingat ni 5 years back ke? mana ada orang tanya pasal benda tu lagi these days." lepas itu, dia tanya aku sama ada i was backing her up. he said, "you're being too positive." aku balas, "al, i have to be positive. you wouldn't want me to be negative. seriously." dan aku explain yang aku sedang sedaya-upaya be nice to everyone. dia cakap lagi, "you have to stay true, girl." dan seperti biasa, aku terasa. self-involved kan?

hari ini, aku chat dengan a new-found-friend. dia pun menyatakan hasrat hatinya yang tidak berapa gemar dengan the crowds that i'm currently partying with. dia kata, talam dua muka. aku tidak menafikannya pasal, yeah, fakta yang itu aku sudah tahu since two years back. dan aku pula menyuarakan pendapat, "and i've got a feeling i'm slowly becoming one of them plastics." my close friends sure disappointed dengan aku sekarang. tapi nak buat macam mana? they are not currently in the mood for parties jadi aku cari crowd yang buat aku selesa to party with. but that's the thing with me, aku seboleh-bolehnya akan ambil point-point positive dari orang sekeliling aku. aku akan sedaya-upaya menolak jauh yang negative. kita tidak tahu what goes inside their head. mungkin nampak macam social climbers tapi maybe they too have problems of their own. we really don't know. currently they are kind of nice to me. so why shouldn't i just play along? who knows, one or two of them memang ikhlas berkawan dengan aku? but i'm not gonna bet on it.