masalah dunia

"your biggest problem is that you keep fucking the guy whom you're so into without him knowing that you're so like, into him. am i right?" aku perhatikan her red lips bergerak mengunyah makanan atas meja. kemudian dia juihkan bibir bawah pasal ada cebisan makanan yang terselit. aku buat calculations dalam kepala. no. that's not my biggest problem. okay. mungkin that's the big one. but there's a bigger one.

the aftermath.

"honey, honey. listen to me. you aren't like me. i wear red lipstick out in the day, you don't. i do one-night-stands, well, used to, but you," menuding jari indeksnya dengan jet black nail, "don't." aku alih pandangan dan perhatikan orang lalu-lalang. berdekatan ada booth karaoke dan penyanyi di dalamnya sedang menyanyi dengan penuh emosi. aku jangka mungkin dia patah hati. aku winced bila pitch-nya terlalu tinggi kemudian bersepah di hujung. i imagined myself running towards the same booth, grab his microphone and sing exactly like how he did it. maybe then akan kurang rasa tidak semenggah yang sedang swimming dengan jolly-nya dalam badan aku ini.

"no. this is the first," aku balas tanggapan miss red lipstick. she rolled her eyes.
"let's rewind your sex-thang untuk sepanjang tahun lepas. first, you slept with the so-called guy yang kau ingat kau jatuh cinta gila babi punya, then you slept with your ex, aku tak tau kau fikir apa time tu. kena bomoh kot. and then you get wasted gila haram punya and kind of made the guy that you're seriously into thinks that you do sex like you do joints." dia akhirinya dengan a sarcastic smile. aku rephrase what she just said in my head. ulang banyak kali supaya it doesn't sound that bad. aku kira ada orang yang lebih teruk perihalnya dari aku. the girl in front of me was just making a big fuss out of it. like a mother. only that if my mother finds out the real deal, dia masih juga akan membebel tapi sambil memancung kepala aku yang kemudiannya followed by cutting me in dices.

"you know what i told my current boyfriend before we decided to date each other seriously? no sex before relationship. i've had enough of that already." i snorted.
"bukan sepatutnya no sex before marriage ke?"
"kau ni hidup zaman bila? it's friggin' 2009!" dia menjegilkan mata dan menghembuskan asap rokok straight to my face.
"2009 or not, there's a reason kot kenapa ada quote macam tu," i said, konon to straighten things out. cuba menegakkan rights and wrongs. statement yang buat kening sebelah kanannya terangkat.
"look who's talking..." dia pula yang alihkan pandangan. dan aku terasa pedas yang bukan datangnya dari mee kari yang aku order 30 minit yang lalu. telan air liur pun tidak hilang rasa pedasnya.

inhaled. exhaled.

while she was snickering silently to the guy in the karaoke booth, aku buat lagi kira-kira dalam kepala. how the hell did we, or most of the girls in this town ended up this way? taking sex before marriage seringan-ringannya. even guys too. aku kira mungkin ramai juga yang pernah termengandung dan kemudian ditinggalkan oleh their partners yang exactly before getting into their pants, menjanjikan sehidup-semati. kemudian kau menangis teresak sampai air mata berdarah dan salahkan lelaki yang bastards. walhal in the first place kau yang tidak dengar nasihat-nasihat yang diberikan pada kau secara percuma waktu di sekolah dahulu.

i shuddered to that thought. and i didn't like where this conversation was going.

she turned to face me. mata hitamnya yang diliputi dengan contact lens warna honey brown bergerak-gerak, studying my face.

"kau ni slalu buat aku risau la. let's go and get pills for you. then, call him for a drink," she decided. shit. the aftermath yang digeruni.
"how?" ternyata dia sangat annoyed dengan soalan naif aku.
"act like how you acted the morning after. and i bet he's not some assholes spreading shits about you because you rarely fall for those types. kau ni jenis suka sangat nak have fun tapi at least kau ni tak main redah je. you actually slow down the car bila lampu kuning menyala. jadi aku budget he's a decent guy. aku percaya pada animal instinct aku." and she meow-ed a fierce one. gila. aku tidak dapat menahan diri dari tergelak.

"weih, it's not like i'm pregnant or anything. why the hell are we making this such a big deal, anyway," i said casually, trying to brush evil thoughts away. dia kemas purse-nya, masukkan kotak rokok, made a screeching sound with the chair while getting on her feet dan jeling pada aku.

"babe, don't jinx it."