setiap hari yang kita hidup ini mesti akan ada ilmu yang kita pelajari

you know, untuk seseorang yang sudah beberapa tahun living in this city, jujur aku cakap bila aku masih naif tentang dunia dan manusia. dunia tidaklah se-complicated mana pasal yang membuatkannya complicated adalah manusia sendiri. kesalahan yang datangnya dari penyalah-gunaan otak masing-masing. aku pun tidak terkecuali.

tapi kalau sudah selalu sangat buat mistakes, aku pun naik meluat dengan diri sendiri.

a weekend getaway by the beach (well, that's the only place i find solace) gave anne and i a chance to talk about what's going on in our life. it's been quite a while since kami berborak tentang hal remeh. ya, aku kategorikan hal-hal romantik sebagai hal remeh pasal bukan ke lebih elok kalau we stop whining about love and instead, kita cari duit banyak-banyak so kalau kau rasa lonely without love, kau ada duit banyak untuk travel the world and not think so much about loneliness.

but, hell. i, myself is a hopeless romantic. i'm not sure if i do believe in true love, but i'm a sucker for that bubbly feeling inside, the butterflies in the stomach kind of thing. macam rasa high hisap dadah (eh? mana tau nih? mungkinlah, aku teka). i bet each of us is a sucker for that too. tolong jangan deny.

recently, aku berjumpa dengan seseorang yang rupa-rupanya, a promiscuous. owh. so they actually exist, right here in this durjana city (like, where the hell have i been all these while???). i've heard of one-night-stand stories from my friends but not a promiscuous' one. haha. rasa macam seorang saintis yang berjaya encounter dengan satu spesis baru. but everyone knows aku memang lembab pun, jadi, tidak kisah sangat. it's my own discovery pleasure. jadi aku macam excited lah mahu becerita. if you've found out about this existence 1o years ago, don't mind me. please, move along now.

elle texted me up,"promiscuous what?" owh. bukan aku seorang sahaja yang kuno.

seorang professor relationship telah menerangkannya kepada aku (walaupun dia adalah professor, tapi dia masih agak terkontang-kanting dengan relationship-nya sendiri). one-night-stand adalah bila you spend the night with a total stranger and after that he/she will stay as a stranger. contoh yang famous adalah Meredith Grey dalam siri Grey's Anatomy waktu downfall-nya. promiscuous pula adalah bila kau kenal dengan dia, not every bit, but at least you know what name to shout out bila kepala kau ter-isi dengan images of colourful lightnings, perasaan yang halucinating dan ada cebisan electricity mengalir dalam adrenaline kau. and after that halucination, you treat it like sesi makan-makan lepak kedai mamak macam yang kau selalu buat dengan kawan-kawan kau. sometimes dengan group of friends from school, sometimes your party friends, sometimes with your colleagues. random. tiada diskriminasi asalkan kau puas dan secretly hoping partner kau pun puas sedikit sebanyak. tidak perlu fikir banyak sangat pasal kau pun terlalu busy handle jobs di tempat kerja so you treat it like some kind of hobby.

"what's your favourite past-time?"
"when i'm free, i have sex."

maybe something like that. i don't know, i'm not promiscuous. or am i?

yang itu juga aku ada terfikirkan juga. do they know that they're promiscuous? i remember this one situation where a friend asked, "so you guys made love?" and the other person shooked her head. she kind of snorted to the question. "malam yang itu"katanya,"was just sex." aku juga terfikir whether they decided to become one. macam fikir masak-masak dulu ataupun they accidentally became one. and once they've become one, ada rasa menyesal atau tidak? like, what will happen kalau too bad, ada satu sesi halusinasi yang mereka anggap lebih special than the others they've encountered, the other person just took it as nothing. ataupun mereka sudah biasa caught up in that damned situation that that's how they themselves jadi promiscuous. pasal mungkin ada juga kebarangkalian untuk aku berfikiran macam itu. untuk decide to join the club.

depression boleh buat kau buta akal, no doubt. been there, done that.

jadi pengajarannya, adik-adik, learn from your mistakes. once you've chosen to become something, driven by hatred atau dendam, confirm kau akan menyesal. dan, bila kau menyesal, janganlah pula kau anggap ringan pasal kalau macam itu, you'll definitely do the same mistakes again. tidak ada untung di situ. ya, there's always a start to everything but there's also an end to it. it's really up to you. buanglah sifat degil kau itu.