where art thou, sex drive?

awal pagi jumaat, instead of staring at the ceiling, i blog-hop. to the familiars, arrived at the new ones. mondays. they're very depressing. but fridays. i couldn't wait to wake up this morning. woke up at 4:55am thinking it was already 7am. another hour, i woke up again, thinking it's already time to get dress for the day. i came to the office and found myself singing good morning to my colleagues, which surprised them because for the past week i was gloomy, depressed, not approachable. so this particularly wonderful morning (i hope it's gonna stay like this until the next morning) i came across tripfantastic and kinda made my day. i love checking out her pictures, they seemed to me all happy shiny people. thanks. i think i should post up happy pictures too. i will but i have to rummage around my picture files. don't worry, i'll come by your cute little cafe just to thank you on how you made my day :)
last night weren't full of whines. we had dinner, a light sleep then got up to have an intimate chat. 'heart and i avoided talking about our current situation. i know he tried hard. thanks for not ruining the night, 'heart. it's been quite some time since we had a decent conversation. love bonding. love bonding. love bonding. hmmm...where should i start? i don't know whether it's just me or i've lost my sex drive somewhere among my heaps of clothes (which i have to sort out and give out one of these days) or the feeling ain't mutual anymore? i thought, by having 'heart at home last night, maybe i can forget about my feelings towards john and we'll get back to our normal lives before. somebody should've whacked me in the head for this lame excuse. because all i can think of was john. c'mon people. this is NOT love, right? it's an obsession, right? because currently john is trying to avoid me (he told me so) because he's afraid of getting drown in this mimpi lucid of ours. that's the way life goes. you will somehow want stuff you can't have. john's driving me crazy. he's definitely gonna get it from me if i see him tonight at the usual friday hang-out club. GRRR...

and maybe after he gets it from me, we'll return to our bored lives. ouh. and thanks SDN blogger for the perhubungan platonik idea. i'm reconsidering that too.