the truth is, i really love 'heart. from the bottom of my heart. this time off that we are having made me miss him. reminds me of those good things we used to have. it was all my fault from the beginning of the relationship. i'm not sure if i am what you call a keeper because i lack of the things a keeper needs. i was the one who made 'heart felt insecure and thus, he tried to soothe his insecurity. what i see from this relationship i had with him, things kept bouncing back. me to him, him to me and i wonder if it will ever stop. there must be something wrong with me that he had secret affairs, right? and there must be something wrong that he did which led me to stray away from the relationship. i am that person who are so lack of self-confidence that everyone else are much much perfect than me. i don't know how i can boost up my own self confidence. the reason i need this time off is because if ever we're going to start over again, we need to start fresh. i need to clear up my mind, my cold heart.
does anyone have dr. howard's number? the guy who have all the machines to erase unwanted memories in our head in 'eternal sunshine of a spotless mind'. but the movie itself made a point that even how hard we try to change or forget things, our destiny have already been written in the big book of life. destiny, will always be destiny. no point changing it.
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