lebih kurang dua minggu lepas, Vans muncul. malam yang aku beritahu Mili, "aku taktau kenapa, tapi aku macam ada satu rasa yang Vans's gonna be here tonight." about an hour after i told her that, he texted me up. apparently, he was in the area that night and saw my sister at another place nearby. instincts, they're freaky. especially yang kau rasa macam ada connection kuat dengan kau. anyway, so i told myself that the feeling's not there anymore. he's just gonna text me up and then will be gone the next day. he said he texted me up pasal dia rasa guilty for not keeping in touch for the past few months. the time when i realized i was too naive for my age. aku rasa kita memang perlu ada classes yang mengajar perkara-perkara sosial sebegini. untuk orang-orang macam aku yang sebenarnya tahu that the thing's wrong tapi saja mahu try test.
jadi Sabtu malam aku main lagi sofa pusingnya. it's addictive, i tell you. the best sofa, so far. we talked and teased like nothing went wrong before. dan waktu dia cerita tentang his dream job, aku hanya perhatikan riak mukanya dalam gelap. bila sampai part yang dia mahu ke States to further his studies, ada satu macam force kecil dalam hati aku yang meronta. why does everyone that i like have to leave the country? i should be the one leaving the country with all these personal commotions. how unfair. tapi belum pasti lagi if he's gonna leave or not. but i was very fascinated by his big dreams. ada satu part macam aku mahu look up to him like an elder brother. ada satu part he's just so hot.
ya. i'm falling for him all over again bilamasa aku tahu he's something like fire. his friend's words kept repeating in my head, "he breaks girls' hearts la."
aku benci angau. can't wait for it to be gone!
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