'isnin lepas, aku menyaksikan mak berlepas pergi menunaikan haji. seorang. tanpa ditemani sesiapa. sayu. risau aku. tapi mak tahu. kami di sini akan sentiasa mendoakan keselamatannya di Tanah Suci.
at times,i thought to myself: whatever is lingering inside this single mother’s mind. always i ponder about her loneliness. whether i can cope with whatever her situation is right now. sometimes when she sleeps & i looked at her, i can’t help thinking of the things she’s dreaming about.
many times have i tried to be a good daughter. the kind that i, myself would want someday in the future. but it’s hard having my own mind. at this age.
she’ll be there for 45 days.
for the first time, i’m typing down the story of my family. how i had always denied that ours, is a broken one.to me,a broken family is like, everyone in the family’s really whacked: each having their own way of life. yes. i have to admit it that i came from a broken family.but not as broken as u think. we survived living our lives through the right lane. we don’t use our family problems as a lame excuse for some dumb actions.whatever happens today,is what we thought about yesterday.
Tuhan bagi akal untuk digunakan sebaik-baiknya.
tapi manusia bernafsu. dan kadang-kadang, nafsu mengatasi pemikiran yang waras.langsung kesan dilupakan. kesan yang kemudiannya membuatkan diri sendiri kesal.
i dunno if my parents regretted of what had happened to them. neither one of us had ever popped the question. afraid of what will be said. come to think about it, to solve this mystery that has been going on for years, this cold war is just simple: talk.
as i grow up, i can see both of my parents in me.mana nak tumpah lauk kalau tak ke nasi. i keep things to myself. not sure whether it’s because afraid of what the other party have to say or maybe i just don’t want to make a big deal out of it. i stop myself from being too overwhelmed by attentions. i only say things when it’s necessary. well, not all the time.
i’m afraid that i’ll grow old alone.
to my parents, i wish them enough.enough of everything they ever need.
maybe for the courage to face things.
being a daughter,i have never stop loving them.'
29/11/06 taken from the original wishful thinkings. wasted thoughts.
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